we see the world not as it is, but as we are.

Most of the times, we like things with whom we can easily relate ourselves. Sometimes we like a quotation, although it is just a normal one, because that quote reflects our state of mind at that point of time. Sometimes it so happens that we had listened to a song so many times in the past, but we didn’t like that, but all of a sudden we listen that song in a state of mind which matches with that of the song and that song becomes one of our favourites. Perhaps “we see the world not as it is, but as we are.” And here also lies the truth of life- People live in different states of life, some are poor, some are extremely rich, some are fortunate, some are not but still people feel happy or depressed in the different streams of life. It is because outside things can never give a person happiness; it is his inner state of mind that makes you feel happy about a few things and sad at a few things. Take an example of a toy, it may give happiness to a small kid but the same toy would not be able to give the same amount of happiness to an adult. It means that happiness is not in the toy but it is in the state of mind (sounds like movie Matrix?). It also depends on the belief system one follows. Belief system or call it culture- what is that? Culture can be defined, in other words, as the brainwash of person in order to benefit the society. Extending our analogy of toy to the example of beef. We, in hindu society, are barred from eating beef and therefore we don’t like eating it while in western countries they eat and enjoy beef. The beef is the same; what has changed is our perception towards it. It is more dependent on our state of mind. We enjoy things not as they are but as we perceive them.

what one look for?

If I were to pen it down to one point as to what is most important thing for people while making their decision, I would say that it is a crave for respect for themselves. I mean a person looks genuine respect for himself in the eyes of other person and this phenomena is a phenomena of give and take. In other words it can be called consideration. This is human tendency to feel satisfied upon achieving a high objective and in a way that consideration, that valuation/recognition in the eyes of another person gives him satisfaction. Okay, so how does people differentiate among people as to who can be their friends/partner? In a way, if the quality or competence is the ultimate thing then why not everybody does become friend of competent people only? The answer again lies in the fact that people look for mutual respect and not doles. The mutual understanding and respect come, most of the times, when you are on the same level. That same level can be age factor, can be intelligence factor or simply can be an emotional factor also.
Today there was a small exercise in IP class which revolves around traits and receptivity of feedback. The aim of exercise was to find out how people perceive others and how do they take that feedback especially when it is negative. So what we did was like we sat in a circle and one person(victim)was to sit in the center. Others round him were to tell him(her) his (her) negative traits. The only condition was that nothing should go beyond the mode of play. No animosity should be felt afterward. Exercise went really well. It seems everybody was interested in IP class for the first time. One thing was surely evident from the exercise that it is really difficult to take negative feedback on the face value. It’s really hard to be neutral when someone is giving you negative feedback. Of course my turn also came. Point that came out after the discussion was that I am comfortable with only my set of people. I find it really difficult to get along well with the people who don’t conform to fit in my image of nice persons. I think this analysis was quite appropriate and tells the exact nature of my personality. I expect certain standards, values, systems and respect from people and whenever people tend to deviate from their responsibility or those standards etc; I normally tell them strictly that it is not what is expected from you and please make the necessary improvement. The only thing is that I say this in Haryanvi tone which makes it a little difficult for them to assimilate the basic reason behind the cause and they start probing the tone most of the time. I have observed myself not going well with a few people but at the same time I have found myself going nicely with a lot many people. I think I need to improve on my tone neutrality. One more thing, where I need to work on, is my communication skills. I need to work a lot on areas of stress and fluctuations in my speech.

competency or relations- whts ur take?

Gussa b ek emotion hota hai…..is it why I never get angry? Because I don’t have emotions or is it just a matter that I don’t show it? I feel for others so much so that even a normal person would never do, but I don’t know why I have never been able to show the kind of emotions which society norms want me to show. Isn’t it sufficient to do things for your friends even before they ask you to do or you need to tell them also that you are my friend and I am giving the proof by doing this? I know that, most of the time I do not necessarily talk their language, most of the time I am impartial towards things, most of the times I prefer truth over relations, but it doesn’t mean that no emotions exist. Do words contain more power than the actions do? But the fact is that, for most of the population, words contain a lot of value. This reminds me of the example given in Blink, a psychology novel written by Malcolm Gladwell. In this he says that chances that patients file case of negligence against a doctor depends on how well or bad they converse with their patients, not on how much they are competent in their profession. It seems as if patients need more of a moral support than the treatment. But then, did this mean that competency has no value in the eyes of people? May be yes. I have also asked a question, which is related to this topic, to many people. The question is- suppose you have a problem and there is one person who is most competent in solving that but you don’t know him personally; and there is another person whom you know, but who is average or less than average in solving that typical problem. So, to whom will you go for the solution? And around 73% of times I found the answer as the second person. If we were to pin down to just one answer, what is one thing which is most important for people in making their choices in life? ? ? ?

losttttttt

One should never go for things which he can’t afford. A big culture conflict is going on inside me these days. It is looking as if i am lost somewhere without even a trail to tell me where to go. Was there a misunderstanding of my own culture or just there was a showoff praise for a different culture? A culture which I never liked, a culture where relationship contains no meaning whatsoever, a culture where every day is a new day and every night a new night, but, a culture for which I always showed a false yearning. Why? Was this a try to look modern or you know look cool? But life always gives you hints on the right time. It is just a matter of catching them on time. I have got my lesson and will always try to keep this in mind- One lives and prospers only with his culture which he should never leave for anything, because without roots a tree may stand in pleasant weather but would never be able to face a cyclone.

sometimes travelling gives you more pleasure than reaching destination..

A lot has changed in the college after the joining of the new director, Pankaj Gupta. College is again looking like a place to study which once became a fun resort. Now with the renewed focus on studies with IIM lecturers and more discipline, pressure is slowly building up. About 1st semester, I can certainly say that things did not turn up the way I thought them to be and certainly this is not what I expected from SIBM. Sometimes even the feeling had come as if I had made a mistake in choosing SIBM as my destination and partner for two most important years of my life but then I think, actually how does it matter. A few external factors can never define a man’s destiny. It is something deep inside him that defines it. External factors at best can play a role in highlighting or hiding that innerself for some time. May be my destiny has something for me here which is as unique and in resemblance with the way i have travelled so far in life. Who thought of the path, travelling on which I have come to here, when I started my journey? From a small school in M Adampur to Holy Child School hisar. And from there to Holy Angel for a small stint (with those tuitions for PCB) and then from there to Polytechnic Nilokheri for one month (mind you, with rank 6; topper ki hawa hi alag hoti hai yaar college me) and finally to HAU veterinary Deptt. Those two years in HAU were wonderful in terms of getting friends and doing a lot of masti. But the veterinary college afterwards wo topper wali hawa nhi khha ke dekhi kabhi. After veterinary to Bachelor’s and now here in SIBM pursuing my MBA. Who has thought, life will take so many turns but it has. And the biggest point is that I am satisfied with the way I have travelled. When the way itself is so joyful who cares for destination or in other words- the real essence of pursuing destiny is in the travelling.
Ya from learning came to my mind a thought on which I was contemplating for long. One thing which I have learnt here in my first semester is how to use the technology, how to utilize laptop optimally, how to use latest softwares, how to make best use of internet. I got the chance and I made a small movie for our college to be sold with the prospectus.
2nd thing that I contribute to learn from sibm is the culture from different part of India and even that from across the globe. I am always mesmerized by the diversity and learning which takes place when each of 165 individuals brings with him his culture, his values and dreams. For example south Indian people, as per my observation, are hard working but less innovative or imaginative when compared to north Indians. Maharastrian have more chauvinistic feelings for their state and language etc, they tend to bind more among their own people. People from gulf (NRI) and even from other parts are more passionate about things whatever they do- be it dancing, be it guitar, music or be it drinking/smoking or four letter words for that matter. I am enjoying here in the company of great minds. Let’s see where is going to be my next step?

change-defined

The complete day I was thinking on the question which I raised in the last blog entry. I started thinking taking the premise that no contradiction can exist. And belief in this statement made my task easy. The answer lies in the fact that it is not us who should try to bring change in person with whom we deal but as a person one should keep evolving oneself so as to bring the best outside. Putting it in other words; we should not try to change the environment every time; but we should try to be the change we want to see in the world. This is the essence of the whole concept of change.
Finance is an area where i can sense my interest in, apart from HR. I love to play with numbers but only till they produce result. The best thing about subjects related to numbers is that, in these subject, there is only one right solution. Once you reach there, it gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction of something being done or a sense of success whatsoever small or big it may be.

change or not to change

You can never understand a person completely how much you may try. Every time we deal with people we think after wards- he could have done this way, why did not he said this etc. We differ a lot in our way of thinking, doing things. Perhaps this is justified also because every person is a different entity, thinks differently, acts differently. And of course we should respect individual’s identity. As they say-“the beginning of love is to let those we love be themselves and not twist them to fit our own image; otherwise we will be loving only the reflection of ourselves in them.” then why do we try to change them. Why is there so much of a fuss about change. ‘Change is the only constant thing in world’ goes the old adage. Isn’t it a contradiction in itself? But if the world is up and running on certain principles, then it is for sure that there can be no contradiction what so ever. This contradiction problem has to be solved.

social service- what is that?

Today I finished reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. The astounding story of a man who said that he would stop the motor of the world- and did. Tremendous in scope, breathtaking in its suspense, this book is one of the finest books I have read. It is my second book from Ayn Rand and the bad news is that she has written only two fiction books (leave her first attempt towards it- Anthem). What a writer she is! The way she portrays her characters, the way she puts the philosophy through the characters and the way she describes each and every event in detail is just superb. One thing which separates her from normal motivational writers like Robin Sharma, is the way she puts her messages across. She doesn’t throw her preaching directly on the face of reader; instead she builds the way towards it. Whereas her first book Foutainhead was on the theme of invidualism v/s collectivism; this book Atlas Shrugged is on the theme of capitalism. The theme tears off all the veils of the tag of social purpose which people put to protect evil means only. According to her, the true social service is to acquire the expertise in your area of working and hence provide the benefit of efficiency instead of some fancy social service. The ideas and concerns expressed in the book are very much relevant even today although this book was published for the first time in 1957. These days social servicing has become more of a PR activity than a social service. The latest buzz word is CSR ( Corporate Social Responsibilty). Most of the organizations today assign big budget for CSR basically not to remain behind in some kind of high service to society and also it gives a lot of free publicity. With this kind of a huge budget, companies, I think, can do a better service to society by keeping their cost and prices at minimum level. Ultimately where does all this money come from and if saved where will it go in form of less prices? Of course, to the society.