Live the life beyond doubts

In our life we live less and doubt more. We doubt the intentions of people close by, we doubt whether person X is true to me or not, we doubt the capacity of our educational system to provide us knowledge, we doubt the capability of government whom we have chosen, we doubt the world around us, we doubt our boyfriend or girlfriend, we have serious doubt about the real meaning of what a person has said to us even though the person in question is known to us for years. We know the person very closely for years but still instead of understanding the meaning, we will go the simple path- ask him to clarify what he said. Does mere saying something over and again would make that more forceful. Why do we need clarifications even after years of relationship is beyond my comprehension. And in between these doubts we forget to live the life. We don’t even have the time to see the world beyond doubts and enjoy the blessing it has in reserve for us.

we see the world not as it is, but as we are.

Most of the times, we like things with whom we can easily relate ourselves. Sometimes we like a quotation, although it is just a normal one, because that quote reflects our state of mind at that point of time. Sometimes it so happens that we had listened to a song so many times in the past, but we didn’t like that, but all of a sudden we listen that song in a state of mind which matches with that of the song and that song becomes one of our favourites. Perhaps “we see the world not as it is, but as we are.” And here also lies the truth of life- People live in different states of life, some are poor, some are extremely rich, some are fortunate, some are not but still people feel happy or depressed in the different streams of life. It is because outside things can never give a person happiness; it is his inner state of mind that makes you feel happy about a few things and sad at a few things. Take an example of a toy, it may give happiness to a small kid but the same toy would not be able to give the same amount of happiness to an adult. It means that happiness is not in the toy but it is in the state of mind (sounds like movie Matrix?). It also depends on the belief system one follows. Belief system or call it culture- what is that? Culture can be defined, in other words, as the brainwash of person in order to benefit the society. Extending our analogy of toy to the example of beef. We, in hindu society, are barred from eating beef and therefore we don’t like eating it while in western countries they eat and enjoy beef. The beef is the same; what has changed is our perception towards it. It is more dependent on our state of mind. We enjoy things not as they are but as we perceive them.

what one look for?

If I were to pen it down to one point as to what is most important thing for people while making their decision, I would say that it is a crave for respect for themselves. I mean a person looks genuine respect for himself in the eyes of other person and this phenomena is a phenomena of give and take. In other words it can be called consideration. This is human tendency to feel satisfied upon achieving a high objective and in a way that consideration, that valuation/recognition in the eyes of another person gives him satisfaction. Okay, so how does people differentiate among people as to who can be their friends/partner? In a way, if the quality or competence is the ultimate thing then why not everybody does become friend of competent people only? The answer again lies in the fact that people look for mutual respect and not doles. The mutual understanding and respect come, most of the times, when you are on the same level. That same level can be age factor, can be intelligence factor or simply can be an emotional factor also.
Today there was a small exercise in IP class which revolves around traits and receptivity of feedback. The aim of exercise was to find out how people perceive others and how do they take that feedback especially when it is negative. So what we did was like we sat in a circle and one person(victim)was to sit in the center. Others round him were to tell him(her) his (her) negative traits. The only condition was that nothing should go beyond the mode of play. No animosity should be felt afterward. Exercise went really well. It seems everybody was interested in IP class for the first time. One thing was surely evident from the exercise that it is really difficult to take negative feedback on the face value. It’s really hard to be neutral when someone is giving you negative feedback. Of course my turn also came. Point that came out after the discussion was that I am comfortable with only my set of people. I find it really difficult to get along well with the people who don’t conform to fit in my image of nice persons. I think this analysis was quite appropriate and tells the exact nature of my personality. I expect certain standards, values, systems and respect from people and whenever people tend to deviate from their responsibility or those standards etc; I normally tell them strictly that it is not what is expected from you and please make the necessary improvement. The only thing is that I say this in Haryanvi tone which makes it a little difficult for them to assimilate the basic reason behind the cause and they start probing the tone most of the time. I have observed myself not going well with a few people but at the same time I have found myself going nicely with a lot many people. I think I need to improve on my tone neutrality. One more thing, where I need to work on, is my communication skills. I need to work a lot on areas of stress and fluctuations in my speech.

losttttttt

One should never go for things which he can’t afford. A big culture conflict is going on inside me these days. It is looking as if i am lost somewhere without even a trail to tell me where to go. Was there a misunderstanding of my own culture or just there was a showoff praise for a different culture? A culture which I never liked, a culture where relationship contains no meaning whatsoever, a culture where every day is a new day and every night a new night, but, a culture for which I always showed a false yearning. Why? Was this a try to look modern or you know look cool? But life always gives you hints on the right time. It is just a matter of catching them on time. I have got my lesson and will always try to keep this in mind- One lives and prospers only with his culture which he should never leave for anything, because without roots a tree may stand in pleasant weather but would never be able to face a cyclone.